March 29: We're back

If you want a journal, go look at Tobi's journal of our trip. I think about writing ... and have another glass of wine. I may or may not get pictures up. I'm freaking tired and the house is a mess because of ...

Suze and Keith's wedding was quite the success all around. First, they did get married. Second, they had cake. Third, Suze learned that her phone has SMS service when I sent her a text message after assembling the cake. Despite Martha Stewart lying about the icing (it doesn't defrost well; the color changes) the cakes looked good and tasted better, and there was an entire, three-tier cake left over. I had only one meltdown (brought on by undercooking the second bottom layer Thursday, and needed to re-bake Friday night, pushing back icing to Saturday). Jorj and Tobi were fantastic; it would have been impossible without them. Jorj did lots of post-baking cleanup; they assembled the cake; both had great design ideas; both were unfailingly cheerful and pleasant.

Vacation was busy but wonderful, tiring yet relaxing. We had a great time with Jess and Pete in Seattle, driving the Pacific Coast Highway, and with Jim in San Fran. Tobi seemed pretty happy and excited about everything (and when he wasn't he'd nap). He and Jorj are great travel companions. The same cannot be said for me. Lessons learned: USAir doesn't serve food anymore; no 15-hour drives; San Fran is the worst-designed airport I've been in.

March 16:Living in the moment, going to bed early

Tobi called from the junior dinner to say that my cake was gone. The kids had gobbled it up like ... teenagers. He'd gotten a taste from another student, but didn't have his own slice. I think he still needs his own cake.

Installed Open Office. (And no, I'm not calling it Open Office dot org. That's just stupid.) Runs fine for me, without the crashes Tobi complained of on the iBook. Runs fine on Tobi's PC too. Won't open a document from Tobi's account on my PowerBook. The error log shows a permission error, but doesn't show which file is causing the permission error. Thanks. That's helpful. And the bug search is freaking unusable. It's too complex, and the matching algorithm is too specific, so "mac open error" returns no results. Yeah, like no one else has seen this. Google was marginally better, at least I got some references in Google groups that pointed me to where the error log lives (anyone know now to get find to match file modification times in minutes, not days?) I had to leave him logged in as me to write his history paper. This is no way to run railroad!

Put some pictures up on the Friends page.

Wedding cake update

Keith and Suzy approved the almond cake with espresso ganache filling and vanilla buttercream. I now have a complete, three-tier wedding cake frozen in the basement, along with a triple batch of ganache and some buttercream.

The buttercream has been a bugger. The recipe starts with 16 egg yolks, pressed through a sieve. That's the easy part, as long as you make sure the eggs are at room temperature, because next you add 2 cups of sugar heated to the soft ball stage (239 degrees F) in a thin stream. If the eggs are too cold, or the sugar syrup too hot, the sugar will form a glob as soon as it hits the egg yolk. This glob will then wap around in the mixer bowl, sloshing sieved egg yolk everywhere. As you may know, egg yolks were the first basis for tempera paint (called "egg tempera," in fact) because yolks quickly form a solid, impermiable mass. The sugar lump/sloshing egg scenario is particularly likely if one's hot oil/candy thermometer reads the temperature 30 degrees cold. According to my thermometer, water boils at 180 F (and that's how I know it's off -- calibrating with boiling water). The hot sugar will cook the egg enough that salmonella isn't a problem, although the temperature rises so gradually that scrambled eggs aren't an option. Then leave the egg-sugar mixture whipping on high speed until cooled, which can take half an hour or two. Frankly, the mixer might have been putting so much kinetic energy into the eggs that the temperature didn't drop. Then add two pounds (eight sticks) of softened, beaten butter, while whipping on high. Finally add a dash of vanilla and ice.

Because the cake pans are different shapes and sizes from Martha's original recipe (diamond shaped, 6-, 9- and 12-cup capacity), only four batches -- not six -- of batter are needed for the full cake. Whew! They also bake quicker, under two hours per cake. Thursday should see the "real" (as opposed to backup) cake baked and filled. Friday I'll frost, and Saturday will require only a few hours assembly with Jorj and Tobi. When he read the plan for Saturday (3:30 assemble cake, 7:00 wedding), he thought the wedding was 7 a.m., because German weddings occur in the morning, and the party lasts all day and all night. He was releived to learn he could sleep in.

The icing is smooth, with no sugar flowers or piped decorations (the other option was swirly icing, too busy for Keith's taste). It's turning out well. The trick is to get the icing as smooth as possible with the spatula, then run the heated spatula over the icing. Jorj's insulated bike bottles are the perfect size to hold boiling water to heat the spatula blade.

The tasting with Suzy went well, despite learning that the side oven has hot and cold spots! The top layer needs only an hour to bake, not over two. And then the cake collapsed, but the whole thing came together and tasted good.

March 11: Living in the moment

The time is just flying. Two days ago we were discussing a weekend in DC with Mori and his host family and his sister. I've made reservations at three Marriot hotels: San Fran (March), New York (April) and DC/Arlington (May). I'm trying to live in the moment, but not always succeeding. My father lived in the past; my brother-in-law lives in the future. Much of my life I've lived out of time, in my head, in my books.

Living in the moment has meant being a baking machine: Suzy's test cake, ganache filling and buttercream icing (two batches, the first one failed, hence the increased ingredients); Jewish apple cake for Tobi's junior dinner; scones for breakfast over the weekend.

March 6

Jorj is shopping and Tobi is breaking from homework to provide technical support to Johanna. This afternoon we are shopping!

A mostly good week. The almond paste for the wedding cake arrived Friday, and I only ordered it on Tuesday! They did a rush job of packing and standard USPS got it to me in two or three days. When it works, the American post is pretty good. Of course, Airborne Express lost my Think Geek package last Christmas.

Wedding cake ingredients list

This is for two, three-tiered cakes: six double batches of almond cake batter, six batches of ganache, and four batches of buttercream icing.

• 8 pounds almond paste
• 11 12 dozen eggs
• 15 pounds of butter
• 4 pounds cake flour
• 3 pounds semi-sweet chcolate
• 3/4 pound unsweetened chocolate
• 11 12 pounds of sugar
• 1 1/2 quarts heavy cream
• rose petals

And of course the cake circle, cake plate, dowels, silver leaves.

Started last weekend with Thai with Suzy and Keith to design the cake. It went well (we have flavors and a design), and they negotiated well with each other. Tobi has also given Keith the thumbs up (knew you were worried about that -- will Tobi like Keith?). Because Thai used a lot of sugar -- really, a lot -- I experimented with Splenda. "They" say one can't taste Splenda, but I could, except in the hot curries. In the bannanas and the cucumber pickles, I found an aftertaste. Jorj and Tobi did't. The Splenda also foamed and bubbled when added to the hot vinegar/water mix for the pickles. Keith said this was disturbing, but normal. I worried the acid in the vinegar had had a chemical reaction, but he said it was the heat.

Splenda is also just weird.

Oh yeah, the tech support is going well, he's shouting to get 'Hanna's attention.

Last Saturday was poker. Jorj ordered tomato pie, although he doesn't like to serve pizza for entertaining. Scott, of course, wanted to re-heat his slice, because it was just cold, cheese-less pizza to him. The ladies went shopping, and I got an $11 pair of shoes.

Sunday we finally saw the Brennans and Croccos again -- entirely my fault! Teppanyaki: exotic, but still just grilled steak. Baking was required: two loaves of Hefekrantz and Heidi's chocolate-almond-cherry cake.

Feb 26: Sick day

And of course, I got a call from work. But let's not talk about that.

You know those really annoying, super-bright, blue-tinted car headlights? Car Thieves like them too. Schadenfreude. Now that the most current tag stays in the glove compartment, stuff like this doesn't happen to Little Vroomie (a 1997 Saturn all-manual SL).

Fastnachttag

And on the third day, I nailed the texture and flavor of the Fastnachts. They are probably too thin still, but there is always next year. Tobi helped with the rolling, cutting and frying -- and food styling and picture taking. As soon as we find the adaptor card, you'll see the pictures. We did indeed have doughnuts for dinner, along with salad and Kraft Mac and Cheese (hey, the kid needs to experience American food, not just Schwäbish). Fastnachttag might be my favorite holiday. Yes, even more than Christmas.

Got toys for Suzy's wedding today. Sweet Celebrations stopped selling dragees (the little silver balls on Christmas Cookies). Suzy asked Keith if he wanted to skip them, he asked if they were at all edible, and she found this site which actually recommends picking them off. Oh, and you can't buy dragees in California. People! It's not a lot of silver! If I ate a gross of the little bottles, MAYBE I'd poison myself. Probably not. Anyhoo, I'm now the proud owner of two gross silver leaves (small and medium), sixteen new star cookie cutters, lots of cake circles and dowels, and a flower ring that is about twice the size I expected.

In case you wondered, yes, I am a screaming liberal. And these are great photos.

February 22: Mothering 103, in which we learn the limits of freedom

Making Fasnacht from Streifzuege durch Schwaben while Tobi studies.

That's not really the mothering lesson. Tobi was in New York and Burlington for a variety of Young Friends activities. Yesterday, he called from Burlington to say "Aaron's mom" would give him a ride home, because they live in Wyncote too. My mistake was in not calling this mom and confirming, because she apparently forgot what time to pick the kids up (noon, like the last time Tobi was there, but maybe it changes). Tobi, being 17, decided he didn't need to call, because, "If you [Sue and Jorj] got worried, you would call." Which I did, at 2 p.m., and an hour after I first expected him. I pointed out that if he hadn't answered his cell phone, my next call would have been to the Jersey state police, and would be VERY embarrassing for him. He assures me this mother should be there any minute.

Now, if you are in this situation: forgetting to pick your kid up, and someone else's, not knowing what plans the other kid and his family had, what would you do? (Pick one)

1. Break the sound barrier back to Wyncote
2. Drive sedately, returning the child safely
3. Run some errands

At 3:15 I call again. He tells me this mother, already two hours late returning someone else's child (as if Lutz and Renate wouldn't mind if Tobi missed his plane and returned in July) decided to stop at the Verizon store. I didn't get this part of the story, but they were still fucking there (hi, yes, profanity, sorry, no not taking it out) when I called. Had I known that, I would have driven up there myself. Apparently she asked Tobi if stopping would be OK, and Tobi, forgetting he has a math test Tuesday, said sure, why not.

If anyone can tell me, what was she thinking?

So, rule changes: No going anywhere with any other adults unless Jorj or I have spoken to said adult. No getting rides to and from events with other kids' parents. (The last pickup from a Young Friends event was also total Quatsch, with calls back and forth about getting a ride from this one, no, now I need a ride and so does this other one.)

I've also been riding Tobi pretty hard tonight about finishing his homework, studying for his math test, cleaning up after himself, because, frankly, his attitude sucked when I called him the first time and he never communicated to Aaron's mother the need for him to get home. It's called negative reinforcement. Jorj says no one in the house believes it works. Even the cat doesn't believe it will work.

Anyhoo, success on the Fastnacht front, although two days early. I've wanted to make them for years, but never had Granma's recipe. These were almost as good. Aunt Gert probably has a closer recipe. Look out Shrove Tuesday! Dinner will be doughnuts, with perhaps a nod to real food.

Jorj and I were bar-hopping tonight. Friend Mick Angel and his bandmates, Wing and a Prayer, played Plush in Glenside. Looking forward to vacation in San Francisco, where smoking is banned in public areas.

February 21: Returning

Oh yeah, that's what I needed. I'm much more fit and flexible, and wound up decaffeinating myself. Don't tell Steve, but I'm not drinking tea in the mornings at work. We did yoga every day, ate vegan, relaxed, read, walked, read, Suzy napped, we talked, I read.

Preliminaries are starting on renovating the kitchen -- we're getting estimates to apply for home equity loans. Renovations will go a long way to convincing Jorj that remaining here is a good idea. With housing prices skyrocketing, I don't want to move. It's getting as bad as Europe. So, if someone could tell me how builders can keep selling those McMansions, I'd like to hear it. Who can afford to buy them?

The trollops went to the Cheesecake Factory Thursday. Forgetting our meeting time, I was in Borders buying magazines (Rescue, Atlantic, Organic Gardening, Stern) and yoga DVDs while the trollops were calling my cell and ordering appetizers. Oops! Despite my prejudices against American chain restaurants, it really is a good place to go. There is enough variety in the menu (I usually have the Thai lettuce wraps or Vietnamese spring rolls) to please almost everyone.

February 14: Leaving

Leaving in an hour or two with Suze for a yoga retreat through Wednesday. Divided on the issue of taking the laptop with, but probably a good thing to have a technology break too. Taking the camera and cell phone. Jorj and Tobi going to NYC and Anne Sunday; also taking Lina, one of the two other German exchange students. Well, must pack now.

Feb 8: To-do

Lovely dinner with Dominus and Lorrie. Always fun and funny. Suze stopped by unexpectedly after work. The "friends not things" plan is working!

Too much to do, though. I'm forgetting most of it, so here's the list.

• Decide on menu for dinner with Suzy and Keith Thursday. Probably Thai.
  Well, Suze just cancelled. A friend of Keith's is being mysterious and insisting that all the friends show up that night at dinner time.
• Write essay on cooking and rapid-application development for next issue of Low Hug (find deadline).
• Bake test cake for dinner with Suzy Thursday?
  See above.
• Get Tobi up at 4:30 tomorrow to finish English homework.
  Done. He got up and at 5 announced he felt unwell. He stayed home from school.
• Fold laundry.
  Getting there.
• Clean downstairs, including floors, rugs and small bath (WC).
  Mopped.
• Update strange and geeky page with all cool links.
  Done. Take a look.
• Additional thoughts on horizontal navigation bar for Christmas-Baking.com redesign.
  None looked good
• Write out thoughts on Quakerism on Quakers page.
  Simplicity, plainness and ugliness
• Write to Congressmen.
• Read nonviolence.org message boards.
• Organize and caption photos; create web pages and upload.
  XML is not a database format.
  I have 2G of photos from 1997 forward. The XML file is 1.9 Meg. As I try to edit titles and comments on each photograph, I watch the remaining battery time drop by 10 minutes for each photo edited. Displaying the next photo in an album would cause a 30 to 60 second pause. The question is, is the new iPhoto worth the extra $49?

Feb 7, 12:26 AM

We are snuggled on the couch with the cat. Jorj is re-writing a C program for Pic controllers to do APRS. I am doing this. The cat is purring. Tobi is sleeping.

Dinner with Nicky so that Tobi could pick his brain about videography and web site hosting. We went to the International Smokeless Barbecue on Washington and 8th. It's in one of the many Vietnamese shopping centers that have colonized South Philly, particularly along Washington Avenue east of Broad. Nick and I always ate at a noodle place at 13th and Washington, and always the same meal: beef satay chow fun, singapore noodles, dumplings to start. As good as cheesesteaks.

The specialty of the Int'l Smkls BBQ is at-table barbecue and/or hot pot: grilling meats and veggies on a gas grill inset into the table top, and boiling seafood in broth set in the same grill. I'd done both before in Japan, and it's a wonderful, slow way to have dinner with friends. Nicky gave Tobi lots of good advice (practice extending the camera, just practice).

On to the Vietnamese grocery at 13th. We spent half an hour, wandering, taking pictures and buying. They chased us out out closing time, but Jorj managed to secure the curry past supply for another year, and we got lots of strange candies and hard-to-find condiments. The Vietnamese shopping centers are one of the many things I miss about working downtown at Martnet. I really need to work downtown again.

Friday night the play on which Tobi has worked opened. Turns out he was "lead carpenter." He didn't tell us, although he knew. Other parents working on the play commented on how dedicated and detail-oriented he is. Yep, that's our Tobi.

The night started with rain and traffic jams. Compared to the drive into town Thursday night, I would need an extra half hour to get to West Philly. I picked Woodhaven/Byberry because that's usually quicker than driving home and then in on the drives, but the bad visibility, construction and general nervousness of American drivers put paid to that idea. I'd already decided to take Spring Garden across town; the Vine Street Expressway was a parking lot "river to river." By the Northeast Philly exits, it was obvious traffic was slowing as we got closer to Center City. Cutting off at Girard, I somehow wound up on Poplar, then back on Girard at 33rd, where I'd hoped to be.

Met the boys at the New Deck in time to finish Jorj's fries, pay the check and leave. I think I paid for a dinner I didn't have! Then over to West Philly to pick up Megan, pictured at right wearing Tobi's baseball cap. Hats and coats routinely appear and disappear from Tobi's wardrobe, floating through a sea of teenagers. They always return.

Arcadia was written by Tom Stoppard, and would be reviewed as "witty" (sarcastic and nasty) and "urbane" (profanity and sex). No wonder it wasn't presented at FFS. The productions was directed by a FSS junior. There seemed to be much more student leadership than I remembered from our school plays, and they did a great job. The text was well-suited to the strengths of the actors: lots of sarcasm. (And before anyone from FSS takes offense, I've turned sarcasm into an entire personality.) Utter failure at finding a coffee shop open at 10 p.m. on First Friday. Feh. Philly is still so provincial, and we can't take Tobi into bars.

Caught a glimpse of Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring, and remembered how much he sorted the character of Sam, the loyal Everyman, who knew his friend so well, who might not have understood the greater issues in detail, but knew right and wrong, and would die for his friend. Read the books.

February 2: Happy Birthday Uncle George!

Tobi is reading a letter from his family. He tells me "don't put anything embarrassing on your web page." His family has sent out the URL for this page for updates for Tobi.

So, here we go: Tobi is doing even better in math. He is working with the stage crew for the latest Upper School play, and has volunteered to work stage crew for the Middle School play. He, Jorj and our friend Scott watched the Super Bowl last night, while I baked Sachertorte. (Tobi had never had Sachertorte before. I found that odd.) He's working on getting a visa to Belarus for the August German Young Friends trip. We have tickets to go to Seattle and San Francisco for spring break.

It was a baking weekend: ginger-lemon scones for breakfast, Heidi's chocolate-almond cherry cake (Dettinger Schokoladekirschkuchen) and the Sachertorte. No new recipes, but some favorites.

The Kirschkuchen was for dinner with Jonathan, a friend from meeting. He lived and worked in Germany until a year and a half ago. Jonathan lives communally with five other people in West Philly. We all had house envy. Tobi for the location; Jorj and I for the large rooms, three stories and lovely molding. It turns out Tobi and Jonathan had met after a German Friends event, when the younger Friends and Young Friends went out to a pub in the evening. Jonathan remembered the kids flipping coasters, Tobi remembered an American making a remark about "German culture" upon hearing the music from the bar.

We had a lovely dinner. Jonathan made coq a vin (leading to the explanation of a capon: a cock without balls) and we ate with Christopher and Arthur, two of his housemates. It was a lovely dinner, and by the end I had an unhealthy case of house envy: West Philly, three stories, six bedrooms, group house, great woodwork.

The Sachertorte was baked for Scott and Lynn, and Scott's mom, Alyce. After a very unsatisfied night and morning obsessed with house envy (which extends to any house that is older, larger, more renovated, better decorated or cleaner than mine, which is almost every house we've seen), much was improved by meeting. Not so much meeting, but after meeting, talking with friends, even those people who know us as "Tobi's host parents."

Tobi and Jorj went go-carting while I cleaned: sure to put me into a good mood. OK, the house now looks lived in, as opposed to squatted in, but when I fell up the stairs carrying the tools Jorj left in the dining room, I was less than pleased and feeling quite sorry for myself.

The one brilliant idea I did have in meeting was to invite Scott and Lynn over for the Super Bowl. I'd given up on keeping it out of the house -- Tobi wanted the experience. Second best was to share the misery. Best of all, Scott's mom was visiting, and wanted to see the house. We got to visit with all three of them before Alyce had to drive back to Lancaster. Then we had cake. Lynn and I talked about everything while Scott explained the intricacies of football strategy to Tobi. And it was wonderful, and I didn't have house envy any more. The house needs to be filled with fewer things and more friends.

December 2003 & January 2004 April & May 2004

What I'm reading

• Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse. Found my copy in a box of notecards and started reading from where I'd left off two years ago. This is a re-read, so I've remembered enough plot to just pick it up.
• Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neal Gaiman. Very Pratchett-esque. Very funny. Finally finished! It was a long, multi-chapter ending, and I had to gear up for it. Finished at Kripalu, where I also read:
• Parts of the Journal of George Fox, and a finally found the quote about women and souls, as in, George felt it necessary to debate with a group of men who believed women had no souls.
• The Hobbit, for about the zillionth time. I'd forgotten what a children's story this was. The Hobbit always leads to ...
• Fellowship of the Ring. Still in the "Let's have an adventure, no realy danger" stage. The whole mood of the series changes so slowly. And, althought the books far outshine the movies, I do love what Peter Jackson did with the female characters. Arwen had a personality! Although the leaving for Grey Havens angle was stupid and out of character.

What I'm listening to

More CDs to replace the tape & bootleg collection

• Bryan Ferry, Bette Noire. I've received this twice as a gift, first on vinyl from Jim Coll (still have it, but no needle for turntable) and now again from Suze, because I'd mentioned wanting a copy, and she didn't listen to hers so much. I'd forgotten how great this album is; Jim had great taste.
• Love and Rockets, Love and Rockets, one of my tapes from Germany. Has about four or five bonus tracks. Ugh. Usually, there's a reason they aren't on the original album.
• Iggy Pop, Lust for Life: a cruise line wanting to use this song about drug use is inexplicable to me, but after hearing the melody (co-written by Bowie), I had to find the CD. Now I just need The Idiot (also a Bowie collaboration)
• The Cars, Candy-O, not as good as their first album, or maybe I'm not used to it yet. I couldn't find the first album and settled, but it's still good.
• Souixie and the Banshees, The Scream. The flip side of the bootleg with Tinderbox. Contains a cover of the first punk song, "Helter Skelter."

Things that make me happy (in no particular order)

• Fastnachttag
• Chanel No. 5
• Spontaneous entertaining -- just drop on by!
• Wool socks
• Hearing Schwäbisch -- in Germany, in the deli, on CD
• Hot tea
• Spätzle
• Math, especially algebra
• Inclement weather
• Getting a good workout in the garden
• Mokka
• Watching Jorj
• Clap boxes and label printers
• Green tea

No, really, this is not a blog

• I hate that word
• It's all hand-coded HTML, no Blogger or Moveable Type, baby! I use and used gvim, vim, TextEdit, BBEdit Lite 6.2 (under MacOS 8), and, at one time, Claris Home Page.
• Multiple sections about stuff
• No Friday Five
• Custom design. I did all the graphics myself using Adobe PhotoDeluxe under MacOS 8, and now Classic emulation under MacOS X. Fonts are from BitStream.
• I'm just too 1997 for that stuff.
• Not part of a self-admiration society, unless you count my friends. No mentions of people I only know through HTML. Actually, I don't even know people only through HTML.
• I have my own webring.
• No links to stuff found someone's blog. Well, few.