December 7, 2014 Advent with SusieJ

Lead, follow or get out of the way

Part of our family tradition of there being a right way to do everything (and we do it that way), is that we often feel called on tho share with other the way to do things, and have no compunction against strongly encouraging people to do it that way. We call telling other people what to do "leadership."

We like leaders. We like knowing that someone has the big picture, and is keeping track of what needs to happen when and who will make it happen. We don't like chaos. We don't like inefficiency, or uncertainty. Leaders, we think, can prevent uncertainty, inefficiency, and chaos. Because we often know the right way to do things, we feel completely qualified to lead, despite any lack of skill at motivating other. (I might be speaking only for myself here.)

Mom was a very good leader. She was organized by habit, knew what the main goal was, and could break it down into smaller, manageable steps. At church, she was president of the women's group, and a Sunday school and vacation Bible school teacher. If there was a vacancy, if someone was needed to step up and get things rolling, Mom would often roll right on up. Even in her friendships, she was a person who made plans, saying "Let's get together!"

Honestly, every woman in the family is like this. My Aunt Manny, cousin Betty and sister Mary came weekend after weekend to pack up, donate, move and sell Mom's things. (Don't talk to me about eBay boxes 1 through 3.) They worked around me. I could barely make a decision about dinner, let alone what to keep. Aunt Manny and Betty packed the entire kitchen in one day. Mary took all the furniture in two trips, and her son is selling what she didn't want. Betty and her husband made a trip each weekend to the thrift shop. Our cousin Lisa took or found another home for all the durable medical equipment except the wheelchair.

Of course, in the presence of good leadership, we are happy to follow. When Mom's division outgrew the building they were in, the corporate parent bought and renovate a larger building down the road and relocated dozens of employees. Mom was packing and labeling her records and desk supplies, and letting Candy, her boss, worry about everything else. Candy was a vice president and frantic. Candy finally asked Mom why she wasn't as concerned about the upcoming move as Candy was herself. Mom replied that because Candy was doing a good enough job worrying about it, it just didn't seem necessary for anyone else to worry too.

There are, though, those people who can neither lead in the correct direction nor follow, and for them Mom had no patience. She didn't talk about them much, because she wasn't a gossip, but I know she had some "talks" with people (other than me!) over they years. All she wanted them to do was get out of the way.

My mother with her grandmother Julianne and cousin Ernst, during her fist trip to Germany.