SusieJ's Advent Calendar December 6, 2009

Confession: A cake fit for squirrels

This confession is not about how I ruined the cake, I've ruined many cakes in my life. No, this is about what I did with the cake afterwards.

I don't remember why I was baking this cake. I do remember it was a vanilla layer cake, probably from a new cookbook. The timer dinged, but the layers weren't completely baked. I left them in for another five minutes. Then another ten. Perhaps another ten after that. At the third or fourth ding, a finger test (cake springing back when touched) seemed to show the layers had baked through at last. After half an hour of cooling on the counter, the first cake center was sticky and gooey. The second layer was only marginally better. Argh! This cake was for a party!

It was certainly too late to put the layers back in the oven, having already cooled. The microwave might cook the center enough without overcooking the rest of the cake. I microwaved the second, more done layer. And microwaved it again. Maybe a third time. By the time the center had set, the rest of the cake was rubber. Gah! So much time trying to save this cake and it was rubber!

I picked up the plate, and hurled that cake out the back door.

The cake stuck to the plate.

So, I hurled the cake and the plate into the back yard.

The cake hit the gutter, bounced off, and hit me in the face. (The plate did shatter nicely on the patio.)

Dammit! I was going to toss this cake into the back yard if it killed me! I picked the cake up off the floor, and hurled it into the yard for a third time, and there it stayed.

Half an hour later, the squirrels had cleaned up the cake, and I cleaned up the plate.

[Detail of my mother's Christmas tree in 2006.]